Monday, October 30, 2006

I HATE Life...

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I hate life! I hate life! I HATE life!!!!!!!!!! I wanna die! I wanna die! I wanna die!! I wanna die!!!!! I wanna die!!! I wanna die!!!! I wanna die!!! I wanna die!!!! I wanna die!!! I WANT to die!! I WANT to die!!! I WANT TO DIE!!! I WANNA DIE!!!! I WANNA DIE!!! I WANNA DIE!!!!! FUCK LIFE!! TO HELL WITH IT!! FUCK IT ALL!! I HATE IT!!! I WANNA DIE!! I WANNA DIE!!! TAKE ME! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!! I HATE IT!! MAKE ME DIE MAKE ME DIE, MAKE ME DIE, FUCKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE LIFE!!!!!!! I DONT WANT IT!!!! TAKE IT!! TAKE IT!!! TAKE IT!!!! TAKE IT!!!! TAKE IT!!! I HATE LIFEEEEE!!


Fucking, God damn, hypocritical, self-rightious, shallow, fuckers!!!!! THEY ALWAYS know it ALL!!! They ALWAYS have to be right!!! They ALWAYS have to be best!!! They are ALWAYS perfect!!! They THINK that THEIR way is ALWAYS the right way!!! They ALWAYS stick their noses where they don't belong!!! If they are always the fucking best, then WHY AM I BROKEN??????? WHY can't they fix me???? WHY am I miserable?????? WHY does it hurt SO FUCKING GOD DAMN MUCH ALL OF THE TIME!!!!!

I HATE LIFE YOU STUPID, HYPOCRITICAL, SELF-CENTERED, CRUEL, THOUGHTLESS, CRITIZING, KNOW NOTHING ASSHOLES!!!!!! Let me DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, October 12, 2006

Futile


I'm so tired. The fight just isn't worth it. In being open, being honest, being myself... I am ridiculed, harassed, made fun of, even enticed by others to kill myself. People whom I have honestly told about my illness, NOT for the desire of being pitied, or being made the center of attention, but merely to help others to see that I could be their sister, their daughter, or anyone that they know, and perhaps might even care about. But as many cruel people do, my illness is used as a means to demean me, humiliate me, and even to make me feel like I am less of a person because I am mentally ill. People use my mental illness to insinuate that I am less intelligent because I am sick, they use it to hurt me as much as those who caused me to become mentally ill to begin with. Yet these are people who will always equate themselves as being better than rapist, child molesters, murderers, and torturers.... yet they so recklessly cause the same mental harm as the same such people do to so many, with little or no thought for the consequences of their actions. I cannot find any more hope for humanity, and I definitely cannot find any for myself.

Just my thoughts.