It Is All Hopeless......

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I talk to people online allot, and the more that I do, the more helpless that I feel. The people who have the power to help fight those who can enact a change to help people like me, actually loathe me. They don't want people like me to be in their world, people they find defective, incurable, hopeless. Many people like me end up finally losing all touch with what they term to be reality, and then we end up homeless, aimlessly wandering the streets, lost, alone, loved by no one, hated by many, we become the thing that they fear, the thing that is thrown into their faces every day that makes them face the true reality of just how fragile their normal world really is, and they despise us for it. The others, they feel like they must "help us," meaning that they need to fix us, but what they do not realize, is that some things just cannot be fixed, and what we need the most is to be loved, cared about, and wanted, we need those things for who we are, not despite what we are. Instead, I am left crying, sobbing at the hopelessness of it all, because I see no real change in sight, no love, no support, no help, only loathing and hatred. I see a people who would rather myself, and people like me would just go off somewhere and die. People that would rather than chose to be courageous and break through their fears of me, my illness, and what they face by loving me, would rather that I just disappear, and it leaves me more crushed than the "monsters" who caused me to be this way to begin with.
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Sometimes life is like a journey down a gravel road filled with razor blades and broken glass, the bleeding and pain becomes more than one can handle alone, and there is no escape but to lie down and wait for the end to come, wait to finish bleeding out, allow the warmness and exhaustion to consume us and take on to whatever comes next.




Just a few thoughts.








Just_April1974
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