Twisted Dimentions....

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My mind takes me back and forth, time becomes almost suspended, never knowing how long that I went back, never knowing when it will come next.

The seconds pass like hours, time that they inflict shame, humiliation, and pain. The searing of fire ripping through delicate skin, tearing soft treasures, erasing childish dreams. Each slam taking away what could have been, and replacing it with something broken. Gleaming white digging deeply, shivers as the warm redness glides down cold flesh. Ropes dig into tiny wrist, burning until there is no feeling left. Demented laughter from evil so stark it seems to melt into her very bones. Fingers dig into secret places... roaming, turning, pulling, shoving. Screams caught in her throat, never escape into the cold sweet air, instead they stay inside for her to hear. Piercing pain like no other ripple through her deep inside. Innocence lost forever to all that is cruel and brutal. Dreams taken and thrown to the ravenous animals to shred at their will. Pain covers her like the tide against the boulders in a cove, constant, relentless.

Sometimes I go back to the past, and return to the present so much that I get lost for a time, and i'm not sure what is real, and what isn't. It quickly became by biggest fear... that I would go back there, to that time, to them hurting me, and I would lose what is left of my mind, and be trapped there, like that, for the rest of my life, completely insane, and locked in that world, forced to relive it over and over, non-stop. It becomes unbearable at times. What is hardest is feeling isolated, completely alone, not having anyone to talk to, to hold me and just allow me to cry myself to sleep. Instead, I have to keep it locked inside, hidden from the very few that I have contact with. Then the depression... it comes in waves, sometimes the sea is storming, and sometimes it is relatively calm. Life is a trip... just seems that some of us are walking, and others get to take a limo with chilled champagne.








Until next time.








Just_April1974