Grieving

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damn, it was one shitty night. I hope that you know what we are feeling right now, the loss is so much to bear. My head hurts like someone is stabbing my skull and I can't stop crying..... FUCK!! If I could see you face to face right now, i'd slap you right upside your head for even thinking that losing you wouldn't hurt so many people!! It could have gotten better, DAMN IT!! Now, you went off and did the permanent, and there is no way to see if things could be different. I miss you already. You always made me smile... and our sick sense of humor was so alike, I knew if i said something way off the wall, you'd be getting a laugh out of it....now I don't have you anymore to share that with. It was a waste. There are far too few people left in this world who REALLY care, and you did...the world is worse off for having lost you. We are crying, the ones who knew how special that you were. We loved you so much hun, and it just feels more empty inside me without ya. I just wish there could have been something, anything that I could have done to ease your suffering. Now, all I can do is miss you, and hope like hell that you aren't in pain anymore. I'm thinking of you darlin....know that you are missed.




-- April