Another night, into another day...

I used to think that I would get used to the exhaustion, but now I know we just grow into it, like part of the disease, it is just within us, always there, always a battle, drawing us deeper into the obyss, we fight always, yet never seem to win the war. As if we become automated, we drone on with a heaviness in our hearts, like lead has been poured carefully inside for us to carry with us, a pain that cannot be described. Sometimes we feel the need to scream, or cry, or even to roll into that small fetal position in the hopes that we may escape it, yet it is always there. Sometimes we think about death to be done with it, yet with that thought comes many more flooding in. If we make it stop, what is next? Will we be faced with nothingness? Will we fall into a hell we could not comprehend until now? Will that hell be that we must relive it all over and over again, for an eternity? Is there a God? Will it forgive us for our inperfections, for our weaknesses? So many question, so we try to ignore the pain, and go on, sometimes for just seconds at a time, until we can cope with the minutes, and hours. *sigh*

Until another time.

--Blog Administrator,

Just_April1974